I really, really, REALLY want to start my “resolution” posts with #2 (Rest, Recharge, yada, yada, yada), because it is particularly appropriate today. But, since I am a left-brained, everything-in-its-place, type of gal…Let’s begin at the very beginning, shall we??
I would like to be, mind you. I’m an accountant by training, so I despise (in theory) redundancy and wasted effort. But personally, I spin my wheels. A LOT. Again, it comes back to laziness. Sometimes, its just easier (in the short term) not to think, but just do. SO I clean rooms that will be messy again in an hour. I drive to the store to purchase XYZ instead of calling to make sure its in stock. I pick up an extra thermometer, bottle of shampoo, hairbrush, etc. instead of taking 5 minutes to locate what I know I already have.
But what really gets me…what is my true achilles heel…is my tendency to overcommit. Try it – ask me anything. Want me to watch your kids? No problem. Host a party last minute? Be glad to. Need a spare kidney? I’m free a week from Thursday – want to squeeze in the surgery then?
I suffer for this, a bit. But my girls and Jimmy really take the brunt. I’m so focused on completing all the things I “HAVE TO” do, that I lose sight of their little needs. Sure, we play and snuggle, I feed and bathe them. But too often, I’m brushing them aside for something that’s not really that important.
Not this year. This year, I’m taking a page from my friends’ playbook. I say “no” when I need to. I ask for time to think before giving an answer. Somedays the dishes & laundry won’t get done.
Today I had to make the most painful dispensation. Two races, which I have looked forward to for months, must be scratched. I am NOT ok with this. The first was to be my longest trail run to date (35K). The second was to be my first ultra-marathon. I could cry right now thinking of it.
But the numbers just don’t add up. Since December 4, each run has become more painful. My pace has slowed by almost 1 min/mile. My heartrate has increased. I knew I was injured. The doctor just confirmed it today. No impact activities until the pain subsides. No estimate on when that might be.
It is essential for me to be a good mother & wife. It is essential for me to be a runner. The rest can be put aside.
Please say a prayer for my sanity, will you??